What kind of freak names her cancer? And what do I have against women named Betty?

In war, you denigrate the enemy by calling them names, and this is war. I have nothing against anyone named Betty. It’s a lovely name actually. So lovely that calling cancer “Betty” seems like an insult to its deadliness. It makes an insidious, evil disease sound sweet and non-threatening.

I suppose I could have gone with a play on “melanoma” and called it Melanie or something. But Melanie must die just doesn’t roll off the tongue like Betty must die. Too many syllables or something. Cut me some slack. These little word choices matter to me.

That’s the sort of freak who names her cancer.